my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
