just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
