Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
