I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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