they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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