Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He felt like a one man threesome
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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