Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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