I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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