I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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