wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
