What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
