She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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