I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The air taste purple.
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