Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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