Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
