I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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