I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize