I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
