i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize