You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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