Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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