He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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