you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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