so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
