I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Found the puke drawer
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
