Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
