i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize