i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
