If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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