I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
