if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
