6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
