So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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