i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize