I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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