so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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