Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
