I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
not ubering you a puppy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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