I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
