i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize