but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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