youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
