Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize