U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
