it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
