So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
