just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
