I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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