yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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