He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
