her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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