It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize