dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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