omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize