also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
