first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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