Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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