I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
