She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
