This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Alive.
So much puke
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
