I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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