New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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